Susan Neder


In "Ass over Tea Kettle" or How I became a Russian Gymnast! on January 27, 2011 at 5:23 pm

My first week home was fairly eventful, despite the orders from the doctors that I had to stay home and not go out in public because of my depressed immune system and their regulation of my blood readings.  The only place I could go was the hospital for the required blood work, to which I remarked that a hospital seemed like the worst place to go with a depressed immune system but they quickly corrected me. The more dangerous place to be with a less than stellar immune system is the grocery store!

It kind of makes sense when you think about it – where do people go first when they are getting sick? Yep. Just a quick trip to get chicken soup or Theraflu; little germ broadcasters, standing in the cough medicine aisle, coughing…. and who do they all see before they leave? The checkers – I never realized it, but grocery checkers probably deserve hazard pay in the winter, especially in a small town with one or two grocery stores!

Anyway, I had plenty to do at home, putting away stuff that had been dragged to Denver over the past several months. It was all piled on the dining room table for my convenience!  The doctors, and thus, many of my relatives, told me I was supposed to go home and rest and “do nothing”. Have you ever tried to ” do nothing”? Really? Unless you are an experienced Buddhist monk, it isn’t that easy, especially in a messy house. My mind tracked every new ache and pain and I even decided my hair wasn’t growing. After an hour or so of this, I worried that I might be becoming psychotic. That is another problem with being an “overthinker” like me; you analyze your own mental health and lean toward the worst case scenario so you won’t  be accused of “being in denial”.  I finally caved in and started putting things away and cleaning slowly, while verbally justifying my actions loudly to the dog and cats, who, I suspect, couldn’t care less.

The whole situation came to a head on Saturday afternoon. I was extremely miserable ( I should mention that the doctors warned me that the radiation side effects would worsen over the next couple of weeks after treatment had stopped but I hadn’t really grasped that until it happened.) and I was attempting to sit in a comfortable chair without putting any weight on my backside, a task I would challenge a Russian gymnast to attempt  successfully, with the dog and the cats lined up staring at me. Note to self – do NOT kneel backwards in a rocking recliner. A slight miscalculation in the principle of weight distribution can cause disastrous results! The dogs and cats, by the way, rather than being “Lassie” type animals who came to my rescue to see if I was okay, instead ran to the far reaches of the house and hid until they deemed it safe to reappear. At this moment, as I lay there looking at the bookcases that flank the chair, I realized that I had a lot of “inspirational” books, all of which I hated at that moment. I fantasized about bringing the wheelbarrow in and loading it with all the inspirational and positive thinking books and taking them outside and having a bonfire! I did realize that I was, perhaps, being a little snarky, so an attitude adjustment was necessary. I told myself that side effects were much less awful than the thing they were killing, and I decided that my strategy  would be to watch funny DVDs this next week and practice patience. I’ll let you know how that works out for me………

  1. Susan– I highly recommend “Sideways” always cracks me up!

  2. Hi Susan! Well I like the idea of the bonfire…just burn it up right?! However since you might still like those books down the line..what about a yo yo bonfire celebration for celebrating YOU back home..your B*day the New Year and that you are home now…take pics please…miss you tons… and watch those movies with your friends also…cry laugh get it OUT so IT doesnt fester!!! Love you I will be in touch ♥ me

  3. So… how does one sit without involving the posterior? Possibly a fainting couch is in your future…. So glad you’re home!

  4. Well…I see Pagosa has brightened your spirits! Keep up the good work and great blogs. (So very glad to have you back home. You’re now on the last leg Sister! Almost done!

  5. Welcome Home Sue! Stay at home Sue! As you might have noticed from some of my facebook posts…there’s a really nasty flu afoot. Let people take care of you! That means no trips to the grocery store! Take care of yourself!

    Love Trish & the Blankenships

  6. To sit without sitting suggests levitation. Have at it girlfriend!

  7. and please send pictures!

  8. Have you thought about an Occupational Therapy swing where you can lay your body across the swing, butt up, tummy down (pillow underneath for comfort) with separate attachments for your elbow, head and feet. Hang it all from a strong hook in the ceiling and you’re all set to go! I’ll have to check in to this to see if I can find what I’m talking about.

    Hang in there! We love you Susan.


  9. Ok Gail- this really conjures up a vision – puts a new spin on “hang in there”!

  10. I am laughing SO hard right now. I especially like the part about staring at the “inspirational” books from your spot on the ground. I know which shelf you’re talking about.

  11. Were you an English teacher? You should write a book. In spite of all you are going through, you made me smile. It is amazing to realize how a grateful sole can be magical! AS I stare out the window on this cold, dreary day, you made me quickly reflect on how blessed I am to have a warm house and good health. I will say a prayer for you this very moment. And, I have plenty of those “insprirational” books I can add to the fire (on today, that fire would feel really good). Sending you a day that you can count the moments of feeling good….K

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