I have been giving some more thought to this idea of “instant karma”. and I decided that perhaps I needed more specific information on exactly how this might work. I began my research by seeing if Barnes and Nobles had a book entitled “Karma for Dummies”. They did not, but they did have “Buddhism for Dummies” and it has a chapter on getting your karmic act together. I clicked on it but it would not let me read it online, so I guess I will limp daintily over to the bookstore later today and read that chapter standing up.
I was thinking that for someone like me, who is already “waist deep in alligators”, (an old southern saying) there should be a Karma Hotline you could call. It could be set up electronically so that your call could be routed to someone depending on how big a Karmic boo-boo you’d committed, sort of like, “Press 1 if you only thought about doing something mean to someone, Press 2 if you have acted on your thought only once, Press 3 if you do mean things a lot, Press 4 if you have done some really serious mean things, like cheating on a spouse or stealing, Press 5 repeatedly if you know you are in deep karmic doo-doo” – you get the idea. Then you could be connected to Depak Chopra, or Louise Hay, or the Dalai Llama, or maybe Oprah. I’d love to talk to Oprah about this! I don’t know if she knows a lot about karma, but I know she’d be sympathetic and would probably have some good ideas……….do I sound desperate? I think I am desperate – I keep seeing all those little 4-H projects lined up, looking at me with those soulful eyes…….