Susan Neder

The Karma Hotline

In Karma / Oprah / & 4-H Animals on December 21, 2010 at 6:04 am

I have been giving some more thought to this idea of “instant karma”. and I decided that perhaps I needed more specific information on exactly how this might work. I began my research by seeing if Barnes and Nobles had a book entitled “Karma for Dummies”. They did not, but they did have “Buddhism for Dummies” and it has a chapter on getting your karmic act together. I clicked on it but it would not let me read it online, so I guess I will limp daintily over to the bookstore later today and read that chapter standing up.

I was thinking that for someone like me, who is already “waist deep in alligators”, (an old southern saying) there should be a Karma Hotline you could call. It could be set up electronically so that your call could be routed to someone depending on how big a Karmic boo-boo you’d committed, sort of like, “Press 1 if you only thought about doing something mean to someone, Press 2 if you have acted on your thought only once, Press 3 if you do mean things a lot, Press 4 if you have done some really serious mean things, like cheating on a spouse or stealing,  Press 5 repeatedly if you know you are in deep karmic doo-doo” – you get the idea. Then you could be connected to Depak Chopra, or Louise Hay, or the Dalai Llama, or maybe Oprah. I’d love to talk to Oprah about this! I don’t know if she knows a lot about karma, but I know she’d be sympathetic and would probably have some good ideas……….do I sound desperate? I think I am desperate – I keep seeing all those little 4-H projects lined up, looking at me with those soulful eyes…….

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  1. Karma hotline, brilliant. I feel like I could use one of those some days. Other days I just feel like shooting the bird. love you.

  2. AH! The Karma chat!
    I find it helpful to think of all ideas and beliefs as starting places rather than end points.
    If we create identities from thought and act from those identities, we create pain and suffering.
    Mostly this is done unconsciously.
    It seems the world is a hologram ( and a perfect feedback loop ) where “as you sow, so shall you reap” is THE law ( big brother is watching and cannot be fooled – the old naughty or nice thing! ).
    We are not victims but rather creators, as we get to choose our response to all things.
    No matter what we may say, or how loudly we may say it, life is never fooled by words, and the truth of what we believe is always seen in our actions.
    If we sow negativity, under any guise, we get paid in kind; if we sow Love, the same is true.
    There is really only ever one choice to make here: love or not – right now.
    The trick in having a ” Karma Free Life” is in knowing which of our two operating systems is running the show in this moment: the one within linked to Source, or the one acquired from the outside that is rooted in thought. If we catch ourselves sowing anything but Love, stop and make a better choice!
    Transcendence is awareness not limited or tainted by thought, and is the EXPERIENCE of our true nature.
    Presence Practice ( being fully present, awake and aware in the here and now ) engages Soul, Spirit, Grace, Source, God ( call it what you will ). Actions rooted in Love ( verses anything negative ) illicit a positive return, and Karma then becomes joyful and fulfilling.
    The trick is to not fall for, or create any identity rooted in thought or belief: I am______, I am a_______, I like________, I don’t like____,etc. The operating system of Ego ( the “self” created from thought ) exists and is defined only in contrast and conflict with something or someone else.
    Our True Self ( that which is rooted in the Divine ) is inclusive and defined by Love.
    You can tell which system is in control by how you’re feeling: if negativity is involved, you’ve been snookered and shanghai’d by: sin, maya, satan, illusion, the world, the false, the dark side, etc.,
    If Love is present, so is the Divine: Love is the emotion of the Divine, negativity is the emotion of the illusion, of the false.
    The problem is that the physical world is seductive, seems real, is solid, and we fall for it. We believe what we see and then act as if our beliefs are real, as if the world is real ( which it is relatively, but not ultimately ). And we become so identified with our thoughts and so very attached to our beliefs, that we will defend them as if we are actually defending ourselves instead of just something we think.
    We are taught illusion. We catch beliefs. We are “shown” that matter is real, and that we are what we think or believe.
    It’s as we disengage from the false that “bad” Karma becomes moot.
    That can only happen in the one sacred moment – The Now. This is where God is found.
    Time is another trap, another belief – God is not found in the past or future, only in the Now.
    In other words, enlightenment is a big fat detox, and as we turn from what is false, what is real emerges and negative returns eventually dry up.
    How we respond to negativity is a good indicator of how well we are learning the lesson. Turning the other cheek and returning Love for all of life’s “offerings” is actually a pretty practical idea!
    Awakening, or the process of “Washing the Window of the Soul” , is like Michelangelo chipping away anything that is not David.
    🙂 W

  3. Or you could say something like this:
    Dear Karma,.. it’s me, Susan. I wanted to know if I did anything recently to offend you. Could you find it in your heart of hearts to forgive me for what I might have done and would you mind if we could try to reset, start again, and let bygones be bygones? Just let me know what it is I need to do to rebalance my life and I will be more than accomidating…feed the homeless, start recycling again,or just keep my big fat mouth shut…anything! Anything that will bring back the happy balance I knew not so long ago. And while I am here, could I ask for one more favor? If there really happens to be a “next life”, would it be possible to pre-order the life of a beautiful butterfly instead a worted toad? Thank you for your time and consideration! – Sincerely, Me!

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